©2019 by ConfidantCandy.

  • Candice Williams

Being an empath: A blessing and a curse

Updated: Jan 26

My name is Candice and I am an empath.

I and sure that you’ve have all heard of the term empath but for those who do not know the definition or the traits that an empath entail, I’ll tell you all about it.

**Are you an empath? Take this test and find out**

According to dictionary.com, “Empaths have a supernatural ability to feel and sometimes manipulate other people’s emotions.”

Hence empaths deeply understand the feelings of others.

Even when we don’t want to.

Empaths are some of the most loving people you’ll ever meet, by default.

Below are a list of traits that a majority of empaths have.

1. Empaths are sensitive beings

We are good listeners and are invested in your conversations. We love to give to others. When I was younger, I used to give all that I had to my relationships especially with friends. I would always lend them money (the little that I had and I lied to my mum saying that I lost money when that wasn’t the case ) and put their needs before my own. My mum has this saying, “One day you’ll learn”. I am learning now mum. Thanksz.

2. Empaths absorbs the emotions of others This is why I like to be alone as I tend to absorb the emotions of others. If I’m in a good mood and my friend is upset or someone has hurt them… then I am upset also. I don’t like to see people suffer.

I have one memory that sticks out to me. I was walking to the bus stop with my friend and her mum. We encountered a women who was homeless asking for money. She was explaining her situation to us; she stated that she did not have money to feed her children. I started crying because a part of me felt guilty that I couldn’t help her. I was 14/15 years old at the time.

3. Empaths are Introverted- This is me to a T! (If you want to find out if you’re introverted or not take this test) I hate crowds. I have to encounter them from to time but I try to avoid them at all costs. Maybe that is why I go to the gym at 3am. Hmmm.

4. Empaths are Intuitive- I follow my guts at times and when I do, I’m usually right. I try my hardest to give people a fair chance even if it means going against my gut feeling.

5. Empaths love alone time- I don’t like to be around people 24/7. I need my space… to read, to write, to meditate and relax ultimately. I tend to recharge my batteries before a lot of interaction with others.

6. Empaths are overwhelmed by intimate relationships- I always used to avoid getting close to other people especially men. I was very guarded and scared of getting hurt. I observed my loved ones loosing their identity whilst being in a relationship and I was scared that would happen to me too. Possibly due to my childhood experiences, I believed that it is best to keep to myself that way I would avoid conflict at all costs.

7. Empaths are targets for energy vampires- Throughout your lifetime, you will encounter an energy vampire (read more about energy vampires here). I have had personal encounters with ‘victim vampires’ in particular. Let’s just say it’s healthy for you to get rid of the toxic energy they give off. If you believe someone is a vampire, RUN. Love them from a distance. It’s better for you and for them.

8. Empaths are replenished in nature- I love being by the beach. Nothing beats it. On the morning of my 23rd birthday, I was in Tenerife with my friends. Early in the morning around 7am, I walked to the beach alone and just stood there. Taking it all in and reflecting my life thus far.

9. Empath have highly tuned senses- smells, noise and talking. I never realised that this is a trait of an empath prior to writing this. I’m a light sleeper so small noises will wake me up. Even someone starting their car would wake me up. Very weird I know.

10. Empaths give too much- This one hit home. I tend to feel guilty if I can’t help someone even if it’s a small act of kindness. I worked as a support worker and part of my job role was to attend to the needs of supported individuals. I love helping people but in that environment, it was extremely taxing on me mentally and physically.

I love being an empath however, I would say it is a blessing and a curse, simultaneously.

It is a blessing as you are present; in the moment experiencing emotions of others and your own. Being giving and loving is necessary in the world that we currently live in.

Alternatively, being an empath is a curse at times. At Times you may operate using your heart instead of being logical.

Sometimes you feel bad about what people go through. You may give people a pass for treating you the way they do because of their life experiences leading up to this moment.

That is not fair on you.

I understand that people express themselves differently but I believe that people should be kind to one another regardless of the trauma they may have experienced.

Over the years I’ve learnt a very valuable lesson.

Detaching yourself from emotion.

It sounds a bit cold hearted I know. It is important however to try your best to not make decisions based off your emotions only. Making a logical choice vs a choice using your heart is extremely difficult but it is inevitable in order to protect your wellbeing and your energy too! Being an empath is not a bad thing although it can be extremely exhausting. Having the awareness to understand that you may need time for yourself is imperative.

It is not selfish and don’t let people tell you otherwise.

You’re an empath, you need time to recharge like everyone else and keep up to day with your self care routine and give the love that you give to the world to yourself first.